If you’re one of my typical students, you’d roll your eyes and opt to focus on the Jinn,
every time I mention the mere idea of contacting an angel…
.. right up until you actually practice what I suggest, and go “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME SOONER!!!”
Especially when it comes ot Mahdiel
And you’d be forgiven for it.
Heard of him? No? You see that isn’t unusual.
If you were to go back to 1990 and log-in to the BBS…
Then if you were to ask the magicians on alt.magick: have you heard of Shughal or Jan or Baduh?
They all would look a tad…
Then they would ask you what it has to do with their discussions on Peter Carroll Psychonaut and throwing their jizz on talismans.
That is what happens when you are a time travelling magician from the future.
Sh*t just doesn’t make sense to the natives.
Let’s try and skip the weird looks, time-travel, and playing fiddly-widdly with temporal displacement.
Who is the Angel Mahdiel and why should you bother now versus thirty years into the future?
My God! It isn’t hard to figure out, if your crystal ball wasn’t in the cleaners getting a new waxy shine.
According to ancient texts, and yes it has to be dusty old, since Google hasn’t heard of him….
He is the angel of the 9th celestial sphere.
If you consider there are 18 celestial spheres in the old Islamic cosmology that makes him stuck right in the middle.
He is a middle management angel, who apparently sucks at office politics, and can never get that promotion.
But, he always has a smile at work, because the 9th sphere is associated with Jupiter.
He has a pretty jovial work environment all things considered.
We concluded that he is:
A pretty happy guy…
Everyone at his office is a smiling preppy…
And he is hanging in there between the ever-shining Throne of God and the sex dungeon of Lilith.
So, what does he do?
His job description has the word ‘jinn’ in it.
Oy! Paint me interested…
Apparently, our ever-smiling middle management angel, gets to get down here and wag his fingers at the big jinn kings and tell them what to do!
Al Capone and Godfather ghosts be like:
He doesn’t do it alone either. He hangs out with some pretty cool crew.
He does this with the legendary and famous Metatron and made-man untouchable Tahitmeghilial, and the (who the hell is this guy?) Kees.
Let me get this straight…
You’re a big wizard or Witch, whichever is which, and you summon a big jinni or demon (oooh!).
You’ve followed all the steps in the grimoires and said the words “Klaatu, Verata, Nikto” or some version of that…
After huffing and puffing and over $13.95 on candles from Wallmart, the Jinni be like:
“I am a little underwhelmed”
The Sorcerer Supreme be like:
Just like a wedgy, this sh*t happened to all of us magicians at least once.
Actually, it happens more than we like to admit.
that old wizard sitting in the middle of the desert…
with nothing anywhere but sand…
had to tell his apprentice not to run away screaming in frustration into the middle of – what? – nothing.
Yes, they actually wrote this into their old dusty books.
Please, please, for the sake of Allah created camel, don’t quit on me after 40 days of talking to the wall.
Turns out jinn are either deaf or more stubborn than your misses in Louis Vatton store on a Black Friday.
Before you rush back into Amazon customer service desk and yell at the poor sod that you want a refund for your $19.95, because the book failed to help you summon demons from the pit of hell like a bad-ass Constantine, take a deep breath or read out shorter sentences.
Breathe in then breathe out and call me Uncle Quaint.
When jinn are misbehaving, I am not too proud of my wand to go calling on daddy.
There you go rushing to Tahitmeghilial thinking: if Batman will come because of some oversized lightbulb, this guy will surely take notice of your serious predicament.
Turns out when your job includes running a tight ship involving seven powerful angels, their thousand angelic aides, seven jinn kings, and tens of thousands of other jinn, you’re a bit overworked.
While getting a job at the big guy’s office sounds fantastic, it does come with a minor disadvantage like first turning into ash in a crematorium.
That isn’t what we are here for anyway.
You rush then into Metatron’s office.
He is angel turned man, man turned angel, he is THE card holder for woke modern angelic TS (trans-specie).
I mean, if anyone can understand your predicament, it would be him – right?
Except you forgot!
He got his wings again before the flood for being a total bad ass during the Watcher wars.
When the leader of the gangster angels Samyaza were like ‘help me out man I fucked up’, human Metatron was like thanks, but no thanks.
If you want his help, you better have a good explanation for why you are in the mess in the first place, and why what you want to do is really important to the agenda of heaven.
You turn around and rush to Kees’ office to find a sign that reads “Out for Therapy”.
Considering everyone goes ‘Kees who?’, I am totally sympathetic to his psychological needs.
That leaves us Mahdiel.
It turns out Mahdiel is not only in charge of jinn affairs, but also human affairs.
Considering all the ‘shit in the diaper’ messes that both our species keep doing and the fact that there are billions of us around…
I am yet to manage to figure out HOW that guy keeps his million-years long grin.
Suffice to say: it turns out Mahdiel is a cool guy and doesn’t mind giving you a hand getting that jinn problem of yours fixed.
You need to get their attention. You need them to listen to you. You need them to answer you.
This requires spiritual authority. You need to be a made-man.
A connection with Mahdiel gives you this kind of authority.
This my fellow magician is priceless and more precious than all the gold in the world.
Yes. Yes. I know you’ll never hear a banker say THAT and a bit of gold in hand is better than a credit card any day.
I get it.
You wanted to work with jinn to fix your life problems and not just because hanging with an alien species looks cool on your dating profile.
Having contact with Mahdiel gives you the street credit and magical authority before the powerful Jinn Kings.
THAT you can convert into a better life EVERY DAY.
There are trillions of angels out there. And if I dropped THAT whitepages on your lap, you’d be well pretty much dead…
Size does matter when it comes to your lap.
But, more importantly, you’d be staring all those names going er… where do I start?
When you have a trillion beginnings, it is easier to just sit that one out.
This is why we are lucky enough to have a good starting point for angel-human-jinn switchboard.
We got the angel Mahdiel.
The only problem is since Google has never heard of him before then most likely most books and authors haven’t either.
This means getting the ACME kit for ‘HOW TO CONTACT THE MOST POWERFUL ANGEL’ doesn’t come with much of anything.
OR WORSE can be just the wrong stuff for this job leaving you a bit …
This is why I decided to bang my head on your behalf (thank God for ibuprofen) and put a good starter kit together for you:
The Kit comes with the ACME approved basics:
The package comes with a 15/20” talisman that you can carry with you, use in your temple, or place under your pillow for angelic inspired dreams.
I’ve also included a unique evocation to Mahdiel from classical sources plus a step-by-step instruction for the angelic communion.
This is a pretty good KISS kit that will get you started.
The smart kid in the back has a question. Let’s hear him out:
“I have never made contact with an angel so will he show up to me?”
The short answer is probably not.
Most angels don’t show up for humans, because the shock of a complete physical manifestation can lead to…
But, having coffee with Mahdiel in the nearby Starbucks isn’t what we are looking for here.
We want help with the Jinn related issues AND we want to get that shirt that says:
The talisman + evocation and the procedure, if done regularly, will give you that.
The phrase “Touched by an angel” may leave everyone with a big smile.
However, if you’re waiting for that to happen to you on its own that is kinda like winning the lottery without buying a ticket.
This is why the kit will help you out.
This is why investing in this package is such a smart choice.
For some bizarre reason, the Universe in its infinite wisdom, decided that smart people when facing smart choices need even MORE incentive, besides being a smart thing to do.
Who am I to argue with the Universe?
This is why I am including these time-limited incentives with limitless value:
Chocolate Box One has:
The Golden Mean for Mahdiel to further help attract and connect with this awesome angelic power.
Chocolate Box Two has:
The names of the powerful angelic aides of this mighty angel. You get their names and Golden Mean to get enough boost to outrun the Roadrunner.
Chocolate Box Three has:
Unique angelic jinn evocation for the Ummar (Resident Jinn) and Qareens of other people.
Get answers about the affairs and secrets of people known and unknown to you by summoning their Qareen.
The complete translation of these evocations and their corresponding talismans are included in this package.
It’s good kit for those of us who grew up on MAD’s spy vs spy skit and want something better than the CIA.
Chocolate Box Four has:
The Golden Mean for the angels Metatron and Tahitmeghilial.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot, and Kees (Yaseen).
Any more Chocolate Boxes and your personal trainer will pound me into the pavement.
This was a smart choice for smart people before the chocolate boxes, but now even Darwin has to concede.
I have only one more question:
Are you finally ready for this awesomeness?
Ok. You know where to press. It is right there. Uhuh…
Bonuses Expire In